The worst side of ASD

I would have to say that communication is the most frustrating part of being an Aspie: the difficulty, even inability, to communicate clearly with others face to face. That's why I write, partly: I can choose my words more slowly, one at a time, and go back to revise and spell-check and grammar-check what I say, and wven even cut whole paragraphs as necessary. But when I'm talking, I can't do that. I stammer, I lose my trains of thought, I cross my sentences and so forth. Psychological strain makes it even harder sometimes. I see Tyke struggling with it too. We've been trying to teach him not to whine (and can he whine!) when he wants to express disapproval. "Say 'No, Sir,' or 'No, thank you.' Stop whining: use words," sometimes several times in an hour. And sometimes he complies. But if he's upset, neither the firmest nor gentlest admonition will get through the whining. Several times I have not cut through the desperate (and annoying! No end of annoying! But he comes by it honestly) whining and howling until I took hold of Tyke's jaw and turned his head to face me. I know how disruptive eye contact can be* so I try not to prolong it more than necessary, but sometimes just locking his gaze, then releasing it, is what it takes to break in on him in his crises to snap him out of them. But how much of the crisis comes from insecurity about being able to tell us what he wants and know that we understand? Even I, in my thirties, catch myself (or am caught) resorting to gesture and signalling when I ought to say things in plain English. Beautiful caught me doing it just this afternoon.

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* See the Bad Catholic for more on the issue of making eye contact.